January 2012
me: hmm i wonder what's going on at facebook
everyone: new year new me
me: nevermind
December 2011
Me: Mom...Dad. I've decided to live on my own from now on.
Parents: Ok, cool.
Me: Your luggage is outside
teacher: e-mail me the assignment by monday. I'll need your e-mail address.
me:
teacher:
me:
teacher:
me:
teacher:
me:
teacher:
me: tastybitch69@aol.com
When you tell yourself that you're going to start...
Expectation:
Reality:
Text messages.
I send you “Hey :)”
And you just say “Hey.”
I get no smiley back?
Okay, f*ck you too.
When people say "I bought these for $300"
and I’m like…”What can you hear aliens with that?”